By Brazen Edwards

Sexual desire in women naturally fluctuates over the years. We sometimes go through high and low periods of passion at the beginning or end of a relationship or when we experience significant life changes like menopause or other health issues.

Our sexual pleasure is impacted by our psychological and physiological well-being. Societal pressures and expectations, and unfortunately, we still don’t have a great understanding of female sexual anatomy or the female orgasm.

When people think of sex, they often think of orgasm as the ultimate way to achieve pleasure. However, adequate research or information about the female orgasm is still insufficient. The end result is not always the best determination of success. 

Enhancing Your Libido

Although we can generally define the different ways people tend to achieve a good sex life, there is no common ground as to what a healthy libido looks like, and there is no way to measure it in numbers. 

But here are some practical, healthy lifestyle choices that can make a big difference in your level of desire:

  1. Exercise for at least 30 mins every day: regular exercise (even going for short walks) and strength training can increase your stamina, improve your body image, lift your mood and boost your libido. Your brain is at the core of desire, so taking good care of it is vital through exercising, eating healthy and maintaining a balanced regime.

2. Try to rein in your stress levels: finding a healthier, more productive way to cope with work stress, financial stress, and daily hassles is undoubtedly helpful. Also, avoiding smoking, illegal drugs, and excessive alcohol consumption will improve your overall health and significantly impact your libido.

3. Set aside time for yourself: run a bubble bath, pour a glass of wine and unwind from a long day by learning more about yourself. Masturbation is key to knowing what turns you on and leads to a better responsive level of arousal. There are some really great books out there that touch upon new information and research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure that will radically transform your sex life.

4. Communicate with your partner: couples who learn to communicate openly and honestly maintain a stronger emotional connection, leading to better sex. Talking about sex also is essential. Discussing your likes and dislikes can set the stage for greater intimacy. Low sex drive can make your partner feel rejected, leading to conflicts and strife. This, in turn, can trap you in a vicious cycle where this type of relationship turmoil further reduces the desire for sex.

5. Add a little spice to your sex life: take time out of your daily routine to go on dates, and rekindle your desire for one another. Try an alternative sexual position, have sex at a different time of day or find a new location for sex. Ask your partner to spend more time on foreplay. If you and your partner are open to experimentation, sex toys and fantasy can help renew your sexual desire.  

6. Ask yourself an important question: are you even sexually compatible? If you and a partner want different things from sex, such as frequency, it can be challenging to achieve the physical and mental conditions necessary for a pleasurable interaction. Similarly, if one partner reaches completion long before and without taking care of the other, it can create resentment. This can often lead to the person not being overjoyed to repeat the experience next time.

Worried You Don’t Have A Healthy Libido?  

First of all, if you’re struggling with arousal and experiencing personal distress, it’s a good idea to make sure that you don’t have any underlying health issues that might impact your libido. Your doctor can look for reasons your sex drive isn’t as high as you’d like and help you find ways to change things. 

Your doctor can also perform a pelvic exam and check for signs of physical changes such as thinning of your vaginal tissues or if you’re experiencing dryness or physical pain during sex. Maybe get them to order blood tests to check your hormone levels and explore any thyroid issues, diabetes, high cholesterol and liver disorders that might impact your sexual health. 

They should also review any medications you might be taking to ensure there are no unforeseen side effects. If things are still challenging, consider consulting a specialist such as a counsellor or sex therapist to see if they can determine any emotional, psychological or relationship factors that are contributing to your lack of desire. 

It’s time we rid ourselves of the myths surrounding sexual desire and take a proactive approach to increase our sexual fulfilment, deepen the intimacy in our relationships and explore new ways to relate to ourselves. Speak up, try new things, and hopefully, your libido will be back at its best in no time.