Want To Have Better Sex? Here’s How You Can Train Your Brain

By Audrey Tan 

We already know that mindfulness can benefit our overall health by allowing us to be in tune with our bodies. Similarly, when brought under the covers, it can help to boost arousal and desire, bringing you closer to fulfilment. The secret to fantastic sex, as it turns out, is all in your mind.

So, put away your toys, lotions, and tricks, and let’s take a look at how simply being mindful during sex can take you to greater heights than any tool or device you’ve ever tried. 

Unlocking The Sexy Mindset

Like all of our experiences—joy, happiness, fulfilment or sadness—they start in the brain. Any insecurities or anxieties about sex in general, your own body, or your partner may distract your focus and sabotage any sexy vibes. Even the most luxurious lingerie and erotic music will fail to work until you learn to get your insecure brain under control and simply block any negative, mood-killing thoughts out. You need to allow yourself to be present and focus on the objective at hand—enjoyment and fulfilment.

With a little effort, you can learn or train your brain to stay focused and engaged when you want it to be. In addition to improving your sex life, following the next few steps will also help you lead a more fulfilling life overall. 

Develop A Habit Of Mindfulness

Certain life activities can be mundane, which causes our minds to wander and the body to automatically operate on autopilot. Tedious tasks such as doing the dishes or cleaning the house can trigger our cruise mode. 

The next time you feel your mind drifting off, make an effort to refocus and concentrate on the task at hand, and really try to feel all the sensations you’re going through. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much easier the job becomes, and you might even feel a tinge of enjoyment. 

Meditation is another way to help you develop mindfulness and get a better grip on your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Once you master mindfulness, you can instantly recognise when your mind begins to wander and bring your attention back to the present moment. 

Activate And Connect Your Senses To The Mind

One method you can use to engage the brain is activating all five of your senses, also known as the “5 senses” technique. It is used to help people cope with stressful situations or anxiety attacks. By focusing on the present and connecting with each of your five senses, touch, smell, hearing, sight, and taste, the mind can be brought back to focus on the present reality. 

By training each of your senses to be active in a similar way during sex, you can truly feel the distinct sensations of touching different parts of your partner’s body and note how your body reacts to them, from how the ruffled sheet feel against your skin to your partner’s smell. Embrace the present moment and allow all your senses to be swept away.

Learn To Be Comfortable With Yourself And Sex 

If you have any insecurities about yourself or sex, these thoughts are bound to creep in in the heat of the moment. One way to work through these negative thoughts is to have open conversations about them with yourself and with your partner. Learn about what gets them excited in the bedroom, and you’ll soon learn to notice what you like too. Having regular, open conversations about sex can gradually break down any awkwardness surrounding it. It may also even lay to rest any anxieties you may have over time, boosting your confidence and your interest in sex. 

Take Away Any Pressures To “Succeed”

One can feel a lot of pressure during sex. Ironically, the pressure to orgasm, satisfy your partner or even remain wholly engaged the whole time can be a massive distraction. If you want to overcome this, it’s essential to get out of your head and realise that these pressures are coming from you. If they’re coming from your partner, though, you probably have bigger fish to fry. 

But how can you train these thoughts to stop sabotaging your sexual endeavours? Again, it all has to do with teaching yourself to be mindful, not just in the bedroom but also at all times. 

Good things happen when we stay present, and that includes fantastic sex. The secret to unlocking a satisfying sex life is to simply be in the moment. Focus on the feelings you’re experiencing rather than allowing the mind to wander as your body goes through the motions. If you’ve ever zoned off mid-sex for whatever reason, even if it was just for a split second and lost your ‘mojo’, then you’ll understand precisely what I’m talking about. To have a more gratifying sexual experience and a more meaningful life in general, use these tips and jump on the mindfulness train.