By Brazen Edwards

If you’ve ever wanted to experience sex in a way that goes beyond physical pleasure, whether it’s deeper intimacy with a partner or a boost of self-confidence in your solo play, Tantra is worth exploring. This ancient Eastern practice is undergoing a major resurgence in the West, and it’s not just for hippies anymore. 

Although the sexual revolution gave women the right to express their sexuality, many today are still pressured by society to be a certain way. Tantric sex is about throwing all that out the window and starting fresh by redefining sex. It is becoming more about intimacy, connection, and playfulness instead of a box to be checked or simply for procreation.  

What Is Tantric Sex? 

Tantra stems loosely from religious texts that focus on spiritual practices that are thousands of years old. They were originally designed to help people cultivate deeper relationships with their bodies and emotions. Using various methods, they focus on meditation, movement, touch, breathwork and sound to awaken the dormant energy in the body and move it through the chakras.  

Tantric sex is a slow, meditative form of intimacy. The end goal is not orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body to move sexual energy throughout the body for healing, transformation, and enlightenment.

Learning More About Yourself

It is a whole new way of practising a sexual connection that allows you access to deeper levels of feeling, sensation and energy – ultimately, more of who you really are. Through this approach, sensuality also becomes a doorway to beingness, to the divine, and to a more intimate experience in the present moment. 

It can be a path of wholehearted celebration of our bodies while bringing a quality of mindful awareness to our expression of pleasure. Rather than using sex as a way to escape yourself, Tantra invites us to go inward and discover the true nature of who we are. This can be especially helpful for people who have had shame and trauma in their past and want to heal through more holistic practices. 

Connecting With Your Partner

Sex not centred around orgasm can feel freeing and open to playfulness. In fact, one of the goals is to make you feel more relaxed and rested afterwards so that you can approach sex from a less stressful place. Sex is supposed to be fun. Still, sometimes it can feel like something we have to make happen—it’s more about performance than intimacy. 

When we shift away from goals and expectations like “getting someone off”, there is literally endless room for discovering sexual pleasure with your partner. Through this approach, sensuality also becomes a doorway to beingness and allows you to experience intimacy in the present moment.

Helpful Tips For Tantric Sex

Open yourself and your partner up to a new way of enjoying sex by: 

1. Finding the Time: Truly taking the time to explore without the rush to completion is at the core of this process. Setting a date for sex can have a foreplay-like effect. It builds anticipation and allows you both to relax and open up. You can enjoy tantric sexuality with or without penetration, orgasm, or even a partner.

2. Creating a Safe Place: Choose a private place with dimmed lights, light some scented candles or incense to set the mood and play relaxing music. To prepare for the act, you and your partner should shower and find something to wear that makes you both feel relaxed and sensual. Turn off or silence your phones to avoid distractions!

3. Embracing Mindfulness: Everyone is juggling daily stressors that can often impact our ability to relax, making it difficult to give or receive sexual pleasure. Tantric sex works to release you from distractions and zone in on the body through touch, breathing and eye contact. Eye or soul gazing may make you uncomfortable initially but resist the urge to look away. 

4. Establishing A Deeper Connection: As you gaze into each other’s eyes, create a heart circuit by placing your right hand on your partner’s heart. Tune into the love and affection you feel flowing from them. After creating a meaningful connection, you can add more physical foreplay to increase sexual arousal. Deep, slow kissing or sensual light touch or massage are great ways to ramp up the experience.

5. Experimenting with Edging: If you want to draw out the pleasure, try a sexual technique in which you are brought to the brink of climax in cycles, holding off orgasm for increased pleasure. Edging with a partner allows them to control your release and can result in heightened pleasure upon climax.

If you seek to increase your pleasure, deepen the intimacy in your relationships and explore new ways to relate to your sexuality, learning about Tantric Sex will open up a whole new world of possibilities.