By Ari Liakeas

Romantic relationships can be so fulfilling and bring much joy. A loving partnership should be about so much more than just sparks in the bedroom. But satisfying sex is an essential aspect of it for many of us. So how do we know if we are having great sex? Is it measured by the amount of sex we have or the number of bedpost notches? Surely not!

I have many female friends, including those in otherwise fantastic relationships, who have told me that although they have been having lots of sex, they have never ever had an orgasm. Not even with themselves.

How is this possible, and what is going on here? Can you turn dull interactions between the sheets into flaming hot sex? Here are a few ways to make intimate relationships an even more pleasurable experience. 

Get To Know Your Body And What Turns You On

In my personal experience knowing your own body and what turns you on is one of the most significant factors in having a great sex life. How can you tell your sexual partner how to pleasure you if you don’t know how to satisfy yourself first?

Spend time with yourself, make it romantic, get those candles burning, and have a luxurious bath with sensual-smelling aromatherapy oils. Put on some sexy lingerie and go to town on yourself, enjoying your own beautiful body. Find your erogenous zones, which, when touched, caressed, and nibbled on, make you tingle with pleasure.

Get your seductive sass on and treat yourself to a sexy shopping day at your local adult store. Bring home some new and exciting toys to play with, either solo or with a partner.

Lounge in your lingerie while reading an erotic novel to get those juices flowing, play and have fun with yourself! Discover what makes you go from tick to boom, and then you can guide your partner along the path to bringing you over the brink too.

Play With A Partner

So once we have connected with ourselves and know what floats our boat, how do we get someone to hop aboard and get ready to set sail? 

Well, most sexual attraction initially comes down to pheromones; if our sexual hormones are potent, getting a mate to come and play isn’t too hard a task. Let your animal instincts do nature’s work to both have an orgasmic time.

You can also get creative and play some fun sex games, dress up, and even explore a little in the kink world to make it spicy if that is what you both would like.

Sexy Mindset And Communication

The word erogenous comes from the Greek words “eros” (love) and “genous” (producing). I’m not saying everybody is the same, but for me, my mind is one of my most erogenous zones.

To turn me on, engage me in an interesting or sexy conversation to get my mind in the mood. Talk dirty to me, yes, please!

The number one element to having great sex is communication. Tell your play partner what you like and what turns you on, and listen to their wants and needs. It can open up a whole world of possibilities in your sexual playtime.

Connecting Energies

Apart from pheromones, an excellent energetic connection with your chosen mate can make sex a mind-blowing experience. If your energies connect well, this can lead to exploring the deeper sides of sex, not just on the physical levels but in a more spiritual context. 

Why not try some tantric practices to go deeper? Sex isn’t just about the orgasm. It’s about the journey, not the destination! 

The Art Of Touch

Ah, now we get to the physical body. With the right levels of touch, the build-up during foreplay can often be so intense that it can be even more stimulating than the penetration itself. Bringing in the art of touch and tantalising the erogenous zones can be an epic experience without even having full sex. 

I can orgasm from my partner just kissing and touching my neck and back for extended periods of time!

Everyone’s bodies are different, and depending on where you are in your journey of exploring your sexuality, your flavours may change in what turns you on. But let’s look at the most common extragenital (meaning everywhere apart from the genitals) erogenous zones to get you started.

Most women can be sexually aroused when the following are stimulated:

  • Mouth and Lips
  • Breasts and Nipples
  • Nape of the Neck
  • Inner Thigh
  • Inner Wrist
  • The Back
  • The Buttocks

Men have some similar triggers:

  • The Lips
  • Inner Thigh
  • Abdomen
  • Ear Lobes
  • Nape of the Neck
  • The Back
  • The Buttocks

So get stroking, kissing and playing with these pleasure points and see where it leads. 

Knowing your own body, communicating your wants and needs, titillating the mind and stimulating the erogenous zones are some of the many ways to have amazing sex. Happy exploring and enjoy the adventure!