By Angie House
I now pronounce you– single! You may live your life, and enjoy your happily ever after!
Being single is a lifestyle choice, just like choosing to marry or couple up. Choosing to be single is just as big of a decision, and is often viewed as an ‘unfortunate circumstance, rather than an opportunity for full autonomy and freedom.
Being bound to another person, whether legally or in a committed relationship, can limit one’s opportunity for self-growth and exploration. Until you embrace singlehood, you may never know what you are missing.
Having run the full gamut of relationship statuses in my life, I can honestly say, singlehood is my favourite. I’ve been married, divorced, in long-distance relationships, cohabiting, casual relationships, open relationships — the whole works. Not one allowed me the freedom and level of happiness I’ve experienced as a single woman. I don’t choose to be single to avoid commitment to someone else, but rather to enjoy the freedom that is commonly missing in traditional relationship scenarios.
Unfortunately, single women in most societies are not seen as happy with their situation but are often regarded as always on the lookout for a man. If you are not in search of a partner, many societies see this as hitting rock bottom, as giving up on life and love. It’s quite sad that society considers the ability to marry as the greatest accomplishment for women. And yet, bachelors of any age are regarded as enviable, with a lifestyle worth celebrating. You certainly do not witness men shedding tears about not finding ‘The One’ by the age of thirty.
Many women will question what is wrong with them if they are not married by thirty, with the prospect of children on the way. Their whole identity revolves around the idea of marriage and family. Societies place a great deal of pressure on women to marry.
But throughout the 21st century, women have begun to realise the advantages of being single, choosing to delay marriage or forego the act altogether — in exchange for focusing on their careers, friends, family, and self-exploration. Society is partly to blame, media and family values contribute to marital idealism as well. The threat of becoming a spinster or old maid cat lady is a stigma. While men get the gregarious titles of bachelor or get to enjoy the playboy persona.
The Advantages Of Singlehood
There are two stereotypical camps of singlehood for women. The first comprises those who believe fate has yet to give them a chance at love, and the second are individuals who voluntarily embrace singlehood because they feel more content that way.
Being a single woman has lots of benefits and advantages, one of the greatest advantages is that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want.
Here are our top three main reasons we think being single is a blessing because there’s more to life than your relationship status.
Relationships are an investment. Nearly 90% of people say they spend more money while in a relationship. Some relationships can have a great pay off while others just simply don’t. They are a risk for your bank account, and often the return on investment is non-existent. The best advantage of being single is all the money you save. You no longer have to buy gifts, expensive lingerie or perfume, his and hers bath towels, or anything to accommodate another person in your home. You can also save a great deal of money by not going out to eat, and splurging on entertainment activities every week or on expensive vacations for ‘quality time’.
When it’s just you, you know exactly where your money is going, and how it is being spent . Next time you plan a dinner out with friends, consider how much extra you would spend if there were two of you to account for instead of just one.
Being single also affords you so much more time in your schedule to do the things you want to do without accommodating someone else. You get to dive headfirst into your passions, hobbies, interests, and not feel held back from doing the things you love or interest you.
In a relationship, you spend much of your free time with your partner, so making time for new hobbies that do not involve them can be seen as selfish.
“One of the most important relationships you will have is with yourself,” says clinical psychologist, Dr RoxyZarrabi. “Being single can provide a valuable opportunity to learn about your likes/dislikes, embrace your authentic self, and explore hobbies or activities you’ve been itching to try.”
You’ll have so much more time for yourself and can put your needs first. Self-care is essential when you are single. Get out there, and treat yourself to a spa day, or a solo trip somewhere interesting.
It’s Just Not Worth The Effort
Relationships can be very distracting and exhausting! From casual dating to marriage, and everything in between, the venture occupies so much time and energy in a person’s life. It’s no wonder so many marriages end in divorce. With the advent of dating apps, and hookup culture—relationships seem less appealing than ever before—no matter your intent.
When you are single, you can focus completely on your career and future goals with fewer distractions and less stress—especially if you choose not to date at all. There are so many more things to worry about in a relationship. Aside from accommodating someone else and being considerate of their needs, on top of your own, there is a constant concern for their safety and well-being. When you are single, you can sleep peacefully without the constant worry for another person.
Life On Your Own Terms
Sitting down to write this article really got me thinking: Would a man be asked to write about such a topic? The author of Spinster: How to Live One’s Own Life, Kate Bolick proclaims, “nearly every female writer I know has had to decide at some point whether or not she’ll accept an assignment to write about dating life, a conundrum that is almost never presented to men.”
Why are women so obsessive about being coupled up? Is it truly the biological clock that is to blame? Or is something more sinister working in the background of our minds? Is societal conditioning to blame? The pressure to marry and have a family plays a significant role in the process of valuing a woman’s self-worth. Above all else, the single woman by choice honours freedom, independence, and autonomy; and gets them on her own terms.