By Audrey Tan

Who of us isn’t familiar with the “traditional” image of a modern family—the man as the breadwinner, the woman as the full-time caretaker of the house and offspring? While modern lifestyles and attitudes have made this sort of arrangement less prevalent than it was a century ago, it is still something many couples aspire to. 

Because, let’s face it, caring for a home, especially with children thrown into the mix, is a full-time job and not something two people with full-time careers can easily juggle. It takes a village, after all.

While exceptions exist, increasingly so in modern times, traditionally, this role of the stay-at-home parent has been filled by women. While assuming the role of a full-time mom can undoubtedly be rewarding and fulfilling, it does mean that you have to give up whatever career you may have set your eyes on before and instead dedicate your time to housework or so-called invisible labour.

Impact Of Invisible Labour

The term was first coined in 1987 by sociologist Arlene Kaplan Daniels, who was sick of the double standard applied to housework. Little has changed as often it still isn’t considered “real work” (usually by those not doing it). Kaplan Daniels set out to get women the recognition they deserve for doing all the little tasks that keep not only our households but our society running. 

Invisible labour describes all the unnoticed, unappreciated everyday tasks that keep our lives and households functioning. For instance, buying groceries, cooking food, remembering to stock up on essential household items like toilet paper, doing laundry, preparing children’s lunches and bags for school, keeping the house clean, making sure all the bills are paid, and the list goes on. 

Although these tasks require skill, planning, knowledge, experience, and physical and mental acuity, this kind of work is almost always unpaid.

And this is where we get to the crux of the situation. This arrangement of a singular breadwinner may work out fine for a while, but should the couple ever break up, the person who has been performing the household duties for the past years will suddenly find themselves hung out to dry, perhaps as a single parent with little to no savings, a multi-year gap in their resume, and without a career to fall back on. 

Overcoming The Obstacles

Many couples try to avoid this pitfall by both sticking to their careers with neither becoming a full-time caretaker. While this might secure income and careers, many find their time with their children outside work insufficient, not to mention what the children may think.

One solution would be to compensate for “invisible labour” and turn it into “visible labour” by attaching a price tag to it. This would guarantee that whoever assumes the role of full-time caretaker will have their own income and the ability to save and invest their own money instead of relying on the employed partner. By acknowledging the value of the work of running a home and compensating for it, we can also mitigate the negative impact on career trajectories.

How a system like this would be implemented is difficult to say. Still, it’s encouraging to see that some countries are already attaching a price tag to historically housewife chores. In 2021, a Chinese court ordered a man to pay his ex-wife for the work she had performed during their relationship. Many argued that her payout should have been higher, but this legal case’s precedent was far more impactful. 

Changing The Dynamic

Recognising the labour of the full-time stay-at-home mom as valid, value-creating work is an essential step in the emancipation of women. Traditionally, housewives had to be submissive, often accepting abusive relationships because if they didn’t, they’d quickly lose their only stream of income. 

This power imbalance in a relationship is problematic for many reasons. It hinders societal progress towards a just and fair society. We all should be able to choose our own paths, whether a professional career or a life as a stay-at-home parent, without sacrificing our pride and well-being. 

And while changing our perception of housekeeping would undoubtedly do a lot to uplift individuals, it also has collective effects. Financially independent stay-at-home parents mean fewer abusive relationships, which in turn leads to happier families, more motivated children and higher social cohesion. If we want to change society, we need to grasp its problems by the roots.

As a society, there are many reasons why we should care about invisible labour. It’s not just a matter of fairness but a step towards creating a more balanced, equitable, and inclusive society. It involves recognising the value of diverse contributions, breaking down gender stereotypes, and ensuring that everyone has the opportunity for financial independence and personal fulfilment, regardless of their role within the household. 

Addressing and valuing invisible labour will pave the way for a more progressive and supportive future.