By Karen Espig
We have all experienced those cringe moments when someone boasts or brags about something they’ve done. But, we’ve also felt joy and inspiration upon learning about a friend or colleague’s success.
And, I am sure, you have also been so thrilled with something that you have achieved that you just feel like you will burst if you don’t tell someone.
So where is the line between bragging and sharing your success? Let’s find out.
Bragging Vs Sharing
Bragging often feels gratuitous or inauthentic; the person may seek praise or validation or diminish their peers. Their boasts do not bring any value or insight to those listening. If you are at a networking event and hear someone boast they just “beat out 10 other candidates” for a significant job promotion, that’s bragging.
Sharing, on the other hand, aims to reveal. If you hear someone speaking about being excited to start a new job, also expressing how qualified the other candidates were, along with their challenges during the process, that’s sharing. It includes the listener in the story. It creates connections with people as opposed to alienating them.
Why Is It Important?
Sharing accomplishments and successes in the workplace is crucial for advancing your career. Even when you are doing a fabulous job and exceeding expectations, your supervisors or the company may not be aware as they are busy meeting their own expectations. When the time comes to promote from within, the higher-ups will have a bias towards the highlighted work-wins they remember.
There is also something called the forgetting curve. It seems we forget over 75% of what we have learned in a given day within a couple of days. Your boss or HR department is not immune to this!
It’s not only valuable to ensure the bosses are in-the-know; by sharing work (and sometimes personal) successes with colleagues and team members, you have the opportunity to gain respect and credibility. You may inspire confidence among your team, helping them to achieve similarly. But again, it needs to be done correctly and with meaningful intention.
How To Do It Gracefully
First and foremost, read the room. Before sharing a success, consider whether it has any value for your audience. Does the news provide insight into your character or competency? Might it inspire them? Or are there circumstances that might mean it is better not to share (a looming aggressive deadline, for example)?
When discussing your big win, include the people and resources that supported you and describe their role in the success. This not only helps them shine but builds trust and respect. It demonstrates that you do not take credit for work that was not yours.
Show results and let people decide for themselves whether a project or product is a success. A happy client or booming sales can communicate success but describe your contribution instead of taking all the credit.
It is sometimes helpful to have a wingman. Another employee or supervisor speaking up about how great a job you did on a project lends credibility and will come off as complementary as opposed to boastful.
An excellent solution for any workplace (or social circle, for that matter) is to create a culture of sharing. Perhaps at the monthly team meeting, a team lead or manager can ask employees what challenges and successes have arisen. If you have this kind of opportunity, speak up!
What Not To Do
Whatever you do, don’t start the conversation with “I hate to brag, but…” This immediately will get the eyes rolling. Try an opener like, “I’m excited to share that…” or “After a challenging start, we…”
Do not belittle anyone else. While it may be true that a colleague didn’t meet expectations or even made accomplishing the goal more challenging, nothing is served by highlighting this. In fact, finding a way to inspire said teammate is a much better long-term solution.
If you receive a “You are awesome” communication from a client, be appreciative but refrain from forwarding or relaying this. Accept the praise, yes, but let results speak to client satisfaction. Boasting about compliments just reveals insecurity.
Definitely don’t “humblebrag” saying something like, “I cannot believe how happy this client is; I didn’t have to try at all!”
The Darkside
No matter how authentic and sincere your success sharing is, there will always be “haters”. By sharing your successes (and failures), you open yourself up to criticism. It is best to remain confident in your accomplishments and not waste energy convincing naysayers.
Sharing is important in both our personal and professional lives. This includes the failures along with the successes. To quote Albert Einstein, “Failure is success in progress.”
When you share your success, it becomes all the more meaningful to the audience when they understand the story or the journey behind it.