By Julie-Ann Sherlock

Let me qualify this article by telling you that I am amongst the least spiritual humans on this planet. I spent many years studying Wicca, reading Angel Cards and looking for “signs” before coming to my non-believer stance.

That said, one thing I am pretty sure of, is that soulmates and twin flames exist. 

A soulmate is not necessarily just about romantic connections, despite what millions of love songs tell you, but those deep friendships and bonds that make your heart sing.

Hey Soul Sister! 

For example, take my best friend (please don’t take her, I need her!). The moment we met, we connected. Our lives became intertwined, my sons considered her part of the family…people think we are sisters. We told each other everything and understood each other completely. We still do, despite being thousands of miles and many time zones apart. 

On her hen night (Bachelorette party), she told me that as much as she loves her husband, and she does (he is adorable so how could she not?), that I was her soulmate. This shocked me a little as I had always considered soulmates to be a romantic thing, but I guess the clue is in the title — soulMATE. She is my best mate. She is my soulmate. 

Being lucky enough to have a friendship with a deep soul connection, I wanted to learn about twin flames and maybe find mine (spoiler, I’m still looking). 

An Eternal Flame?

Similar to a soulmate, a twin flame is someone with whom you have an intense connection, but you can meet many soulmates on your journey through life. Generally, it is believed that you have only one twin soul (hence the “twin” bit). 

As I said, spirituality isn’t my bag; however, I do think that a person’s energy can draw you to them. Think of all the times you have been in a crowded place, but someone stands out to you as if they were screaming your name and waving madly. You feel drawn to speak to them or watch them and try to figure out their deal. Similarly, your twin flame will draw you in when you meet them. 

When twin flames find each other, they become enmeshed in one another’s lives and often a romantic connection is formed. Some flames burn brightly forever, some burn out in the blink of an eye, but the experience changes you intrinsically. You can learn so much from one another, seeing your strengths, weaknesses, behaviours and likes reflected back at you allows you to work on your flaws and become a better person. 

Man In The Mirror

The similarities and synchronicity experienced between twin flames are often described as looking in a mirror. In theory, your mirror soul is actually a part of you, as it is believed that you were the same person, but your soul split into two. You often hear couples talk about their “other half” or how their partner “completes them”, and if this is true, they have found their twin flame. 

One sign that you have found your missing piece might be how comfortable you feel around them instantly — like you are home. You can be your true, authentic self. You will likely share similar interests and viewpoints on the world, and you will often know how they are feeling or what they are thinking without a word being uttered. 

This profound knowledge of one another often brings a physical hyper-awareness too. Your spidey senses start to tingle when they are near, or you find it difficult to sit close to one another without some contact. 

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For…

While not exactly science-based, the best way to attract this magical being into your life is to be yourself. Helpful, I know. But, what I mean is be the real you, not just the image you want the world to see. Let your kindness shine through, don’t allow other people’s negativity dull your energy and most of all, learn to love yourself. If you don’t love you, how will you be able to love your mirror soul? Twinkle like the star you are and be open to love.

When you find this incredibly lucky person, be aware that all might not be rosy in the garden. Our lives are a series of experiences, many of them painful, and when we find someone who reflects these experiences, it can open up old wounds. But, if you and your twin soul work together to gently deal with past aches, you can go from doom and gloom to Mills and Boon. 

You don’t have to be spiritual or superstitious to find your twin flame. Still, in the meantime, I am lighting red candles, crossing my fingers and touching wood that I bump into mine in the supermarket when the pandemic restrictions lift. Wish me luck!