By Julie-Ann Sherlock
Ah, perimenopause. That delightful phase of life when your hormones decide to throw a rave in your body, and you’re not even invited. One minute, you’re breezing through life; the next, you’re crying at a dog food commercial while fanning yourself with a pizza box. If you’ve found yourself suddenly sweating like you’ve run a marathon (while sitting perfectly still) or wondering why your temper is shorter than a toddler’s attention span, congratulations—you might be in perimenopause.
And it’s not just the old Gen-Xers like me that are being impacted; it’s coming to get you, millennial women, too!
But don’t worry, love. You’re not losing your mind (well, not entirely). This is just Mother Nature’s way of keeping things interesting. So grab a cuppa, a fan, and possibly some chocolate—let’s break down this aspect of women’s health and its sidekick of hormonal changes.
What The Heck Is Perimenopause?
Perimenopause is the hormonal warm-up act before menopause (when you’ve officially gone 12 months without a period). It usually starts in your late 30s to early 50s and can last anywhere from a few months to a decade (yes, a decade—thanks for that, biology).
During this time, your ovaries start phoning it in, causing oestrogen and progesterone levels to yo-yo like a teenager’s mood. The result? A whole host of fun symptoms that no one bothered to mention in sex ed.
Let’s look at the Symptoms:
1. Hot Flushes
One second, you’re fine; the next, you’re peeling off layers like you’re in the Sahara. Hot flushes are the body’s way of reminding you that it can turn up the heat without warning. Keep a mini fan in your handbag and wear layers like you’re preparing for four seasons in one day.
2. Periods Gone Rogue
Remember when your cycle was predictable? Yeah, those days are over. You might get a surprise visit from Aunt Flo twice in one month, or she might ghost you for three. Heavy bleeding? Light spotting? A month-long farewell tour? All possible. Tracking your symptoms helps you know what’s normal for you now.
3. Mood Swings: From Zen to Hulk in 0.2 Seconds
One minute, you’re blissfully sipping tea; the next, you’re rage-cleaning the kitchen because someone left a spoon in the sink. Blame the hormonal rollercoaster. Mindfulness, exercise, and deep breathing can help (or warn your family to tread lightly).
4. Sleep? What’s That?
Insomnia becomes your new frenemy. You’ll fall asleep fine, only to wake up at 3 a.m. with your brain suddenly deciding it’s the perfect time to replay every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done. Magnesium supplements, reducing caffeine, and a good bedtime routine can help.
5. Brain Fog: Where Did I Put My…?
You walk into a room and forget why. You blank on your colleague’s name mid-conversation. Your keys? No clue. This is not early-onset dementia—it’s just your hormones messing with your memory. Lists, reminders, and accepting that you’ll lose your phone at least twice daily will save your sanity.
6. Libido? Hahaha
Some women feel like their sex drive has packed its bags and left. Others find it’s suddenly dialled up to eleven. Vaginal dryness can also make things… uncomfortable. Water-based lubes and staying hydrated help, and if your libido’s MIA, don’t stress—it’s normal.
7. Weight Gain
Metabolism slows down, and suddenly, your favourite jeans feel like sausage casings. Blame cortisol (the stress hormone) and dropping oestrogen. Strength training and a balanced diet help, but mostly? Be kind to yourself.
8. Anxiety & Heart Palpitations
Random waves of anxiety or a racing heart for no reason? Yep, that’s perimenopause too. Deep breathing, cutting back on caffeine, and talking to your GP if it’s overwhelming can help.
I Will Survive, But How?!
Understanding what’s happening helps you stop thinking you’re going mad. Read up, talk to your GP, and join women’s health communities (Reddit and Facebook have great ones). Look into Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT); it can be a game-changer for balancing hormonal changes, easing hot flushes, mood swings, and more. It’s not for everyone, so chat with your doctor about risks vs benefits.
Look after your diet, ensuring you get enough protein & healthy fats to help balance blood sugar, while magnesium & omega-3s can support mood and sleep. Strength training helps combat muscle loss and bone density changes. Prioritise sleep and stress management through Yoga, meditation, or just a bloody good rant with a friend. Find what chills you out!
Laugh about it when you can because sometimes, the only way through is to laugh at the absurdity of it all. You’re not alone—millions of millennial women are with you, fanning themselves and forgetting words mid-sentence.
Perimenopause isn’t the end—it’s just a new (albeit chaotic) chapter. It’s okay to feel frustrated, but remember: you’re not broken; you’re transitioning. And once you come out the other side? You’ll be wiser, fiercer, and finally free from tampon purchases.
Now, where did I put my fan…?