By Andrés Muñoz
I last used an online dating platform a few years ago. Before closing my profiles, I had been using them for a long time and had understood deep inside that these apps were a fascinating exercise in personal marketing beyond drawing a potential match.
I stopped using them for a while, but now, with the advent of AI, I peeked at the online dating universe one more time and found some really interesting things. Let us dig into the world of dating and AI.
My Background With Online Dating
For me, online dating was a great exercise in promoting and creating a personal brand. At the end of the day, this was a way to identify my best qualities and show them in an attractive way while nurturing my relationship skills and emotional intelligence. With the passing of the years, I honed my profile by adding photos showcasing different facets of my personality and keeping my description friendly, confident, and to the point.
There was a moment when I would give my friends tips on improving their photos and how they should respond in a way that would encourage both parties to at least arrange an initial meetup. A good friend found his wife, thanks to a series of minor tweaks to his profile. He is now a proud father and is living a great life.
While it all sounds interesting and fun, eventually, I grew weary of the online dating universe. First dates usually fell into a repetitive script, with both parties asking questions like: “What things do you like to do?” “How long have you been on the app?” “What are you looking for in Tinder/Bumble?” ad nauseam. I grew tired and fell out of love with the apps.
Enter The Machines: Dating Gets An AI Upgrade (Or Downgrade?)
Fast forward to today, and my curiosity got the better of me. Prompted by the explosion of AI into seemingly every corner of life, I dipped my toes back into researching the digital dating scene. And let me tell you, things have shifted. That “personal marketing” exercise I mentioned? It feels like it’s on steroids now but with a weird twist.
The core mechanics are still there: the profiles, the swiping, the initial chats. But now, a layer of artificial intelligence is being marketed as the ultimate wingman. You’ve got AI tools promising to craft the perfect bio, selecting your most “attractive” photos based on algorithms, and even suggesting witty opening lines or replies. Think of it as software designed to outsource your charm. (*shudders a bit*)
On paper, it sounds efficient. It’s like taking the techniques my friend and I used—tweaking profiles, strategising messages—and automating them on a massive scale.
The Authenticity Question
But here’s the rub: If my profile isn’t really me writing but an AI optimising keywords and my opening line wasn’t my own thought but a generated suggestion, what exactly is the person on the other side matching with? Are we just pitting our AI assistants against each other in a digital courtship ritual?
It pushes the “personal marketing” concept into overdrive. The goal shifts further from genuine connection towards simply winning the initial interaction and securing the date, perhaps fueled by lines you didn’t write and profile tweaks you didn’t conceive.
And what about the receiving end? Knowing these tools exist adds a layer of doubt. Was that clever message really from them or their AI helper? It risks making an already superficial process feel even more synthetic. That script I grew tired of might just get replaced by an AI-generated script, potentially smoother but ultimately just as hollow.
Where Does This Leave Us?
Honestly, I’m not sure. The promise of AI is that efficiency could weed out incompatible matches faster, help overcome shyness or writer’s block, and theoretically take some drudgery out of the process.
But dating, even the online version, feels like it should have genuine, fumbling humanity in it. The awkward pauses, the slightly imperfect messages (God forbid an extra comma or a typo), the photos that aren’t perfectly optimised but show real life—isn’t that part of figuring out if you actually click with someone?
My brief re-exploration of this world suggests we’re barrelling towards a future where personal marketing in dating becomes even more crucial but potentially less personal. Dating and AI might help people “play the game” better, but I can’t shake the feeling that it might just amplify the very things that made me step away in the first place—the nagging feeling that you’re navigating a marketplace more than meeting people.
Maybe the AI can get you the first date, but it definitely can’t sit through it for you or build something real afterwards.
And that, ultimately, is still on us.