By Andrés Muñoz
The death of a loved one is a highly personal event that, for many, will take a long time to process. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions, and navigating it while juggling work responsibilities can be a daunting task.
That being said, it’s vital to remember that you’re not alone. Many people experience loss while working, and there are some strategies you can use to manage the trying workdays with compassion for yourself.
Self Care Above All
The first step is acknowledging your emotional state. Grief creeps up on you as fatigue, difficulty concentrating, or unexpected bursts of emotion. Be honest with yourself about what you need. Taking a short break to let your emotions run free, talking to a trusted colleague, or leaving work early for an important personal matter are all valid ways to show yourself care.
Grief takes a toll on your physical and mental health. Prioritising good sleep, healthy eating, and regular exercise is essential. All these activities will most certainly feel challenging. However, they’ll provide a solid foundation that will let you help yourself and others outside work who are reeling from this loss.
Consider adding mindfulness practices like meditation or deep breathing exercises into your routine.
Setting boundaries is vital; they are even more crucial during grief. It’s okay to disconnect from work emails and calls. This allows you the space to process your emotions and prioritise your well-being.
As clinical psychologist Prentis Hemphill says: “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
Use your lunch break and breaks throughout the day for activities that comfort or reground you, even if it’s just a few minutes of quiet reflection.
Lean On Your Support System: You’re Not Alone
Grief isolates, but I reiterate that you don’t have to go through this on your own. Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or family members about your feelings. Sharing your experience can be incredibly cathartic and provide emotional support. Consider joining a grief support group, either in-person or online, to connect with others who understand your journey.
There will be moments when you won’t want to talk to others about what happened. It is a perfectly natural thing; your loved ones will be there for you. CEO Coach Sabina Nawaz, writing for the Harvard Business Review, suggests that you appoint a close friend or colleague as an ambassador, and they can update whoever you want to inform about your progress.
This will spare you from unnecessary encounters that would otherwise drain you emotionally. Also, as your situation changes, they can easily communicate with others about your progress, sparing you from repetitive interactions.
Find Focus At Work
While your workplace may not be a place to completely escape your grief, there are ways to find some focus during work hours. Try creating a to-do list that breaks down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. This can help you feel a sense of accomplishment and maintain a sense of control amidst the emotional chaos.
Sarah McCord of TheMuse states that you will most likely not be the bubbly coworker or dynamic leader you usually are after such an event. Being a more inward person and zeroing in on your computer, focusing on tasks that in other moments might seem tedious, allows you to create value for yourself.
Use The Resources At Your Disposal And Adjust Your Workspace For Healing
Many companies offer confidential counselling services through Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), including grief counselling. Don’t hesitate to use these resources. Additionally, your local library or community centre might offer grief support services.
Furthermore, creating a comforting workspace can be a subtle yet effective way to manage grief at work. Surround yourself with positive reminders of your loved one, like a favourite photograph or a small memento. Keeping a healthy plant or a jar of calming essential oils can create a more peaceful environment.
Forgiveness
Most people fail to respond the way they’d want to after someone close to us passes away. Chris Raymond, an expert on funerals, grief, and end-of-life issues, states the importance of forgiving them. Understand that people might unconsciously distance themselves from you because they’re afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, and the feelings of isolation that might pop up should subside.
Finally, Raymond mentions that grief usually hits hardest after the funeral or memorial service, which is generally when we return to our jobs and daily lives. So, forgive yourself for not operating at 100%, for making errors you might not have made in the past, for feeling apathetic and irritable. Forgive yourself. This, too, shall pass.
Remember, grief doesn’t have an expiration date. It is a long and arduous process that will take time to heal. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this challenging time.